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You are Christ's body, that's who you are! 01/21/2010
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It's so funny what we do as children. I was in the 5th grade and preparing for a paper that I had to write on what I wanted to be when I grew up. I hate that. The pressure on children to decide their entire lives is just a waste of youth and it distracts from the fact that it is God who calls us to what we'll be. Being a mix between a free spirit and a perfectionist, this was really stressing me out. I was 11, I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life other than love God and do good things. As the deadline approached, I prayed to God for the answer to that all too big question. I asked Him what I should be when I grew up and I heard Him say that I should be a doctor. From that day on, I was going to go to Duke University and be a doctor.

Well, as I grew older in years I lost sight of God and soon I was 16 and in college with 2 jobs and no faith to keep me going. After my aunt died, I had a breakdown of sorts and fast forward a couple of years and I was 18 and pregnant. What could have been disastrous was a miracle and I've been an at home mother since. I've never looked back and wished I had ended up being a doctor, but I've always wanted to have followed God's calling.

A few years ago I took a spiritual gifts assessment test and was actually surprised to see teaching was my strongest gift. I truly expected to see healing due to that moment with God, but teaching was the strongest by a landslide and I started to connect some dots. As far back as I can remember, I've been teaching of God's glory and on nonspiritual levels, as well. I've been a peer mediator and a tutor. I've led Bible classes for younger children and as a mother, my entire life is about teaching. I've been told time and again that I have a natural way with words that teaches people on a level they can grasp. Looking back, I see that knack for teaching is really a gift from above, just like all things good and perfect. It's a recurrent theme for a reason.
I'm being called to teach on a broader level.

We're all being called for something.

But what does that mean for the moment when God spoke to me? Well, that's the best part of my story! I discovered that in biblical times the word for "doctor" referred to those who were Spiritual teachers!

I'm just now beginning to embrace this spiritual destiny of mine, and I can't wait to fully live by my belief that God wants to act as a teacher through me. I've been taking baby steps, but I'm ready to leap and not worry about the confines of this world. The restrictions, the necessities, or the chance of failure. What are they when up against God?

Have you found your place in the body of Christ?
Have you opened the gift you were naturally given by the Spirit?
Have you answered His call?

1 Corinthians 12:27-30 paints the perfect picture of how we are each wonderfully made, and why we aren't all wired exactly the same.


You are Christ's body—that's who you are! You must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your "part" mean anything. You're familiar with some of the parts that God has formed in his church, which is his "body": apostles prophets teachers miracle workers healers helpers organizers those who pray in tongues.

But it's obvious by now, isn't it, that Christ's church is a complete Body and not a gigantic, unidimensional Part? It's not all Apostle, not all Prophet, not all Miracle Worker, not all Healer, not all Prayer in Tongues, not all Interpreter of Tongues.

I hope you'll take a closer look at your own God-given talents, and share some time with Him in prayer to find the pattern that points to what He is asking you to do with this life.

I'm praying for your journey!
 
self, serpents and orbs...oh my. 01/19/2010
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...and lemons, too...
I've been thinking about our sin nature this morning.  More specifically, our ease in despair.  Or at least my own effortless decline into doom and gloom.  For a girl who has eternal hope in her Savior, I sure can sink into self-fulfilled hopelessness.  Self-involved.  Self-centered.  Self-entitled.  Self-loathing.

Self.ish.ness.

I suppose that's really what being so fixated on oneself is at the root.  Being all about self doesn't allow much room for hope.  I get it--spiritually, logically--I get it.  Now, if my heart and mind could only send my silly flesh the memo...

As I sat sipping my room temp coffee, every harsh word ever spoken to me seemed to swim around my mind in some sort of violent current, ripping at my very soul.  Ripping at, never out. 

The enemy just isn't that strong, and he only gets weaker with each moment we stand in the presence of our almighty God.

Still, how can something so powerless have so much power over me?  Over us?

At first, that question repeated among the daggers of deflation that would have me reduced to a heap if I let them.  It was more a statement of surrender than an actual question, truth be told. 

The Holy Spirit, He has come to dwell in me {and in you, sweet sister} for many reasons.  As my declaration of defeat echoed in my head, the Spirit spoke out to prove my self wrong about sin. and righteousness. and judgment.

"And when he comes, he will prove the world wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment:  about sin, because they do not believe in me; about righteousness, because I am going to the Father and you will see me no longer; about judgment, because the ruler of this world has been condemned" (John 16:8-11, NRSV).

Suddenly, I began to actually ask myself how something so powerless could have such power over me.  Over us. 

I saw a serpentine covering wrap itself tightly around my entire person.  Twisting and constricting and holding every bit of goodness trapped inside.  Every righteous desire, bound by this serpentine flesh concoction that had replaced my skin. 

My claustrophobia began to kick in, my heart began to race in its place, and my palms began to sweat.  Before my automated response to such binding {even socks make me nervous} had a chance to move past the beginning stages, I saw something else. 

A light began to shine from inside the flesh that would squeeze the life out of me.  This solid orb of growing brilliance shone so intensely that the serpentine covering couldn't keep it under wraps.

The Holy Spirit can't be kept under wraps, sweet sister! 

"For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do:  by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and to deal with sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, so that the just requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit" (Romans 8:3-4, NRSV). 

When the devil wants to make lemonade out of your very being, remember our God created the lemon!  The enemy can't create a thing, so he uses everything he can to build himself up.  Don't be deceived! 

I love you, SonShine.  You give me a reason to look beyond myself and see the truth.  Thank you.
                               Let the Son shine,
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I Dream of Jesus 01/14/2010
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***I'm re-sharing a dream I had and can't stop thinking of lately. 
I'm guessing God has been bringing it to mind for a reason,
so as I revisit the visions that danced in my head,
I thought I'd take you along for the ride, sweet SonShines!

In dream I journeyed from Jerusalem to Caesarea and from there I traveled the road to Damascus, arriving finally, at the street called Straight.  A new student of the Word, these places had been merely words on a page, locations lost in time.  That was before the journey of Biblical discovery that began upon my waking.  It’s gorgeous what a dream can start.

"While I was on my way and approaching Damascus, about noon a great light from heaven suddenly shone about me.  I fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to me, 'Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?  'I answered, 'Who are you, Lord?'  Then he said to me, 'I am Jesus of Nazareth whom you are persecuting.'  Now those who were with me saw the light but did not hear the voice of the one who was speaking to me.  I asked, 'What am I to do, Lord?'  The Lord said to me, 'Get up and go to Damascus; there you will be told everything that has been assigned to you to do.'  Since I could not see because of the brightness of that light, those who were with me took my hand and led me to Damascus”
(Acts 22:6-11, NRSV).


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I had watched as a man appeared from within the walls of my mansion home, literally walking through the wood, plaster, and paint.  He smiled a knowing sort of smile, gentle and warm, as if to say that he knew I would be following wherever he might lead. His molasses eyes were lit with rays of honey, and his smooth skin fell somewhere between those hues.  Shoulder length locks of a deeper shade, gently brushed the jacket of his nearly tattered, quite dust-covered burnt sienna suit. 


Before I knew it, I was making my way to the sea from amid the dunes of a crowded beach.  The suited man who had led me here, now beckoned at the shore.  We shared a pleasant conversation, though the rush and crash of the waves muted the exchange.  The sun hung from the sky as a chandelier, its light drenching the scene in soft rays of warmth. Without words he looked up from the board he had been waxing all the while and gestured to the left and I knew he wouldn’t lead me astray. 

As I trekked through the clean white sand, feet sinking beneath the grains, a continual peace washed over me as the tide to the shore.  The people faded with my travels, quickly going from few and far between to absolutely nonexistent.  I journeyed alone, along that empty beach, full of wonder and anticipation.  Over time, the sand became more and more compact beneath my feet.  Glancing down to see the change that was taking place, I no longer saw the soft mounds of loose sand that once required my careful attention to each step. 
I now stood on solid ground.  Dust swept across the road of flawless, cream-colored dirt.  Clean and bright, dirt seems a lacking term.


Looking up, I found myself surrounded by ancient buildings of white clay, dotted by square windows that were rounded at each edge.

I wasn’t surprised as much as bewildered, like a child on Christmas morning and a blood-bought saint on Judgment Day all wrapped up in one.  Taking in the beauty and the wonder of it all, I opened the doors of what turned out to be a gymnasium.  Polished wooden floors shined like gold, filling the room with light that shone bright enough to blur the walls from my view, though not so brilliant that I might need to look away.  It was a comfortably overwhelming brilliance that seemed to invite one to stay awhile—an eternity if they wanted.

Basketball in hand, other players scattered about the room, Paul greeted me, saying, “I knew you’d make it.  I just thought it wouldn’t be for another year.”  His letters so suited his demeanor that I couldn’t help but recognize him right away.  I’m not sure whether I told him about the suited-surfer that had led me there, but it was plain to see he had known.  Whether either of us had spoken His name or not, it was clear now, that it had been Christ I was seeking.  Barely able to contain my bubbling excitement, I asked if he knew where I might find Jesus.  From behind a lovingly amused sort of smile, he pointed me toward a quaint and somewhat ran-down house that stood out immensely among the much larger buildings that lined the road.  As he pointed, his smile now a medley of gladness and sorrow, he said “No one wants to see Him anymore,” as if to say that my visit would be a welcomed one, but also to say so much more. 

Looking back to my dear friend before leaving, with no idea when we'd meet again, I can remember feeling that I should soak up every drop of the moment.  It wasn’t easy to walk away, but the hope of what lie ahead called my name. 

My dream has placed a sense of urgency on my heart.  I want to encourage you in your walk with the Lord today, sister.  Even when it seems no one wants to see Him anymore, look for Jesus.  He’s waiting around to be gracious to you…or He could be out surfing the waves of Caesarea…or shooting hoops in Damascus…or any number of activities that couldn’t drag Him away from you. 
What is keeping you away?  Is it worth His waiting?

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Slowly Fasting 01/06/2010
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Okay, it's official.  I'm doing the Daniel fast.  God has placed a nameless yearning in my spirit that I cannot discern.  As my friend, Leigh, put things, I've felt like I'm spinning wheels in every area of life.  Desiring to follow the Lord often leads to these little road blocks.  Not knowing which direction to step out in means never taking that first step. 

I write for a lot of reasons, but the reason I am a writer stems directly from my desire to be understood.  In truth, that desire has its own root in the gift our Father placed in me. He wants me to want to be understood in ways that bring Him glory, and that requires that I understand what brings Him glory.  Without that, I'm stuck...and stuck is just where I've been for a few months now, it seems.  Sure, stuck started out innocently enough.  Nothing ever stays compartmentalized.  What had been a quick re-post here or there soon turned into a total loss of interest in devotional pieces.  I had begun to feel as if my learning was halted and therefore I had no business trying to encourage someone else in the way they should go.  The flaw with my logic lies in the fact that I learn more from sharing with you than I ever do while going it alone.  You are my conviction on many days.  I think that's part of why writer's block has hit so hard this time around. 

God alone wants to be my conviction.  Duh.

When the thought to fast first hit, I shooed it away quite promptly.  It came back.  And again.  And then, I began to pay attention.  A tad.  In a cute little way that didn't really consider it as much as consider it a cute little notion.  The fact I knew it to be a powerful tool in our Father's hands, never occurred.  I honestly hadn't stopped to consider His huge hands in my big hurry to "feel better".

Finally, I spoke the idea into actuality today.  On twitter.  Okay, I typed it.  Anyway, I hadn't given it a chance to grow into a full-blown idea yet and once I it was out there, it was real.  Leigh reached out about sharing the same need and then the idea was a decision...to think about it seriously, aka PRAY about it.  So after some prayer, God reminded me that I was wrapping up my time in Beth Moore's study of Daniel and I had known at the start that I would do the Daniel fast when I was finished studying and ready to begin writing the chapter on Daniel's friendships, in the book I'm working on.  As the months wore on, that eagerness faded into guilt and dust on the cover but no ink on the pages. 

So, when I heard God whispering "resolve" as my word for the year ahead, I applied it to my study of the book and am nearly through with its lessons.  What a ride that's been!  Once I finally put two and two together, I saw that it was time to decide--to resolve--to take on the Daniel fast and all that God plans to do with it!  With me! 

Okay, I had to add two plus two on a calculator...or google, actually.
I hopped onto google in search for information on "the Daniel fast Beth Moore" and found this in the results.  It is a writing of Beth Moore's that can't be missed.  In it I found so many treasures; affirmation that He will prepare me in all things, a verse I just quoted in a column I'm writing on obedience, and not a thing about the Daniel fast.  Not a thing I would have noticed had I not been looking. 

God is so good.

Merciful.

Faithful.


Holy.

Moly.

God is good.



 

 
Have you accepted the average life? 01/06/2010
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If you've accepted Christ as your Savior, then you have received the gift of eternal life, but His gift to us doesn't begin the day we die.

His gift begins here on Earth, as it transforms our very way of living.

In 2 Peter 1:3, we learn that
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness. Everything we need to make that move from merely surviving life to actually living for God has been provided for us. It seems that far too many of us allow earthly life to take center stage, and our spiritual life with Christ becomes something to look forward to only after death.

In Philippians 3:8, Paul encourages us to
consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus. When we make Christ the central part of our day, we say goodbye to stale Christian belief and step into a wonderfully alive way of following our Lord, Jesus Christ. We need to step out of the believing-in-theory realm and into the practicing-what-He-preached world. We should be building our lives around our love for Christ instead of fitting Christ into our worldly schedules.
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Don't accept the average, run of the mill life! God has so much more in store for you, if you'll meet with Him in this life. Daily visits with our Dearest Friend, Jesus, can make all the difference.

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is" (Romans 12:2, NLT).



Lord,
Your divine power has given us everything that we need for life and godliness, we need only accept this gift in order to have a new life in You.  God, we pray that You will help us to overcome our unbelief, and instead, rest our faith solely on You.  Christ Jesus, please guide us to Your truth, and Your life, and Your way, so that we may be transformed into Your likeness during our time on this earth.  In Your all powerful name we pray, Amen.


 
...even the kitchen sink... 12/03/2009
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me
a candid peek at me
I cried over tomatoes yesterday.  Tomatoes.

If I were pregnant, that might actually be cute, but I'm not--and it's not.  Truly, had God not made it beautiful, the following story would be quite an ugly one.

Everything wanted to break apart and I was convinced that I was trying all I could to keep things together.  Retrospect {we have a love/hate relationship} revealed the sad fact that all I really did was sit in the funk that had been brewing for weeks.

In a perfectly imperfect storm of self-pity, self-loathing, self-doubt, and self-reliance, I bought into the notion that a lack of affirmation from the outside world meant that I was in the wrong line of work...the wrong line of life.

Who am I kidding trying to homeschool my kids?  Writing?  Me?  About God?  Really?  Why am I surprised by my girlfriendlessness?  Hadn't I pushed them all away with my weirdness and boringness?  Besides, didn't I know they never really liked me anyway?  Why get out of jammies when all I want is to get back in bed anyway?  Why not just stop pretending anyone will notice if you delete the blog and slink out of the online world as well?

All of these accusations and condemnations were constantly repeating and nearly defeating the rational and spiritual thoughts that would crop up in defense of Truth.  Still, I held it together.  Somehow not crying was holding it together and that worked until it didn't work anymore.

You should know that my kitchen faucet has been broken for months.  Okay, maybe know one should know that...still...it is important to the story that I share it all...even the kitchen sink.  Broken, but perfectly usable, I might add.  See, the faucet has broken several times and we're redoing the whole room soon and I just refuse to replace that sucker again.  Then last week I tried to fix it and somehow made it worse...I'm awesome that way. 

Now what remains of the spout itself is the hose that was once inside.  A chip-clip is all that keeps it from sliding into itself.  Oh man.  Did I just share the sink story?  Moving on...

As I prepared dinner last night, I reached over to adjust the remnants of my sad little faucet.  Without thinking, I simply let go of the hose and watched in horror as it quickly vanished down into whatever you'd call what's left of the spout-a-majig.  Horror. 

The horror faded immediately into shock over my not having unleashed my inner sailor in said moment of horror.  Once the shock and awe of it all were gone, what remained was that same sense of failure that had been threatening to drag me under all day.

How stupid can I get?  What other issues will I create for my husband to come home to, I mean the house is trashed and I'm in jammies, and the kids...are somewhere around here, right?  Wow, way to waste the day and coast through parenting.  Just try not to become the first person in history to burn soup.  Think you can manage that?

Then it happened.  You know...it.  That final whatever-it-takes to crush any hopes you had of coasting through a bad day instead of dealing with what is making it so bad.  My it just happened to be tomatoes.  After mindlessly beginning to pour the juice from a can of tomatoes down the sink instead of into the pot of soup I was dangerously attempting, I broke down sobbing. 
 
Dare I cut the potatoes?  I mean, I can't even pour right, and I want to wield a knife? 
What am I good for?

Well, the night continued and the soup was pretty tasty, and I was laughing at myself before too long.  Then bath time rolled around and as my daughter splashed about with her little ponies, I opened my Bible and flipped to a random devotional.  As I read the Scripture that particular writing focused on, God swooped in and faded the day away.  Affirmation that
I am answering His call flowed from the pages.  Each syllable overflowed with grace as my Father revealed that I am studying His Word in His time and that's simply perfection. 
The ink dripped with the atoning blood of Christ, healing my heartache as only the Hope
of Salvation can. No amount of girlfriends would ever come close to filling the role quite like Jesus does. 

Just the day prior to reading this "random" passage, I had been studying in that 11 week Daniel study that I've been beating myself up over.  Taking 3 times as long to complete it when I know God wants to use it for the next chapter in the book has been an ongoing source of guilt.  It's important you know the focus of the previous day's study had been Daniel 9:1-3, which says, "In the first year of Darius son of Ahasuerus, by birth a Mede, who became king over the realm of the Chaldeans-- in the first year of his reign, I, Daniel, perceived in the books the number of years that, according to the word of the LORD to the prophet Jeremiah, must be fulfilled for the devastation of Jerusalem, namely, seventy years.  Then I turned to the Lord God, to seek an answer by prayer and supplication with fasting and sackcloth and ashes" (NRSV).

With all of my far too lengthy and ever wordy back story in mind, take a look at the passage of Scripture that our sweet Lord placed before me once I came to Him after having spent the day wrestling demons on my own.

"For thus says the LORD: Only when Babylon's seventy years are completed will I visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place.  For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.  Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you.  When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile" (Jeremiah 29:10-14, NRSV).

Even in all my wordiness, I can't explain all God said to me through this gift in Scripture, but I hope I've said enough to convey the point.  The very words of prophecy Daniel spoke about were the same words God used to say so many things that aren't on the page.  Words spoken straight to my spirit from His, written in invisible ink that only the pen of Salvation can reveal! 


What secret message is the Lord waiting for you to discover in His Word? 

Got your pen handy? 
Tell me all about it girlfriend!  I'm dying to know what our Father's up to in your life!
 
The Perfect Model 11/11/2009
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Christ endured every variety of challenge we will face as we follow Him.

Knowing this helped me to see that even the elusive beast called stillness could be tackled by looking to Jesus for direction. 

I've found that still bodies can help us focus on the heavenlies, but we don't need to feel like inactivity is a must unless God is calling us to it, personally.  However we can bring still minds before our heavenly Father is quiet time. 

Though my focus {and that of the Kettle Club} for the month of November is silent devotion, quiet time doesn't have to be in silence.  We can find rest in reading a devotional, praying aloud or in heart, studying the Word of God, singing the praises of the King, or even listening to someone else sing them as we soak the dishes--or ourselves in this really cool thing I've heard about in hushed circles, the stuff of legend...it's called Bubble Bath, it's somewhere beyond the looking glass, I believe.

In Matthew 26:36-46, Mark 14:32-42, and Luke 22:39-46, we read about three instances of prayer in which Jesus sought God's will above His own and walked away knowing that God wouldn't be allowing the cup to pass as Jesus had asked.  Scripture doesn't note God's reply with words but with inference and I can't help but wonder if that is because the exchange took place without words.  Knowing how God speaks to us, it's easy to imagine Jesus being quiet in His prayer so that the will of His Father could be revealed to Him. 
Of course, I'm just speaking in possibilities here. 

We can't know for sure that Christ was silent during any of His prayers, but we can know that He was focused and intent on hearing from the Lord.  That devotion to seeking God's will and stepping into His Presence, coupled with the fact that Jesus often went off on His own to pray, gives us the perfect model for our own prayer lives. 

I want to leave you with the words Jesus prayed on our behalf.  I don't think anything better has ever been prayed for any single one of us.


"I have made your name known to those whom you gave me from the world. They were yours, and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word.  Now they know that everything you have given me is from you; for the words that you gave to me I have given to them, and they have received them and know in truth that I came from you; and they have believed that you sent me.  I am asking on their behalf; I am not asking on behalf of the world, but on behalf of those whom you gave me, because they are yours. 

All mine are yours, and yours are mine; and I have been glorified in them.  And now I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you.  Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one, as we are one.  While I was with them, I protected them in your name that you have given me. I guarded them, and not one of them was lost except the one destined to be lost, so that the scripture might be fulfilled.  But now I am coming to you, and I speak these things in the world so that they may have my joy made complete in themselves. 

I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world.  I am not asking you to take them out of the world, but I ask you to protect them from the evil one.  They do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world.  Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.  As you have sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world.  And for their sakes I sanctify myself, so that they also may be sanctified in truth.

 "I ask not only on behalf of these, but also on behalf of those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one. As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.  The glory that you have given me I have given them, so that they may be one, as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become completely one, so that the world may know
that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.  Father, I desire that those also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory, which you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.

"Righteous Father, the world does not know you, but I know you; and these know that you have sent me.  I made your name known to them, and I will make it known, so that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them" (John 17:6-26, NRSV).

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Stay Tuned... 11/02/2009
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As I sat, legs folded beneath my barely used Bible, the tattered bits of my life strewn about all around me, alone in my humiliation and pain, God took the reigns.

Looking back, I see that moment was the first time I had truly sought the Lord since childhood.  Sure, there had been the occasion bouts of seeking through prayer and even my first attempt at Scriptural study, which I promptly quit after one session.  I was in church each week, and in a weekly group for mothers at my church as well for several years before having my daughter.  The start of school for my oldest, having a newborn, and living half an hour from the church after having been only minutes away had proved to easily defeat my devotion.  That’s not devotion at all; that just further illustrates my point.  I was miles from devoted.  I still am.

You can read more over on the Devotional Channel at Exemplify Online!
 
I've got to be honest 10/30/2009
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No big confession, that was a statement.  I really do just have to be honest.  If your hair looks bad and you ask my opinion...honest.  When something is on my mind, it is all over my face.  Ladies, when I buy a gift I have to give it, like right then, or else I'm bound to spill before it's opened.  I just can't keep a thing to myself.  I'm a virtual vault when it comes to storing things spoken in confidence, but the rest just won't stay put.  It's a blessing and a curse.

Sure, I've lied before...and lied and lied and lied some more. 
As a teenager, I wouldn't have recognized truth if it knocked me over the head and dragged me off to its cave.  Honesty, integrity, authenticity...I think I expected they could all be found hidden in some far removed, mystical hobbit-hole-of-a-cave somewhere.  I did not have the map, the key, the code, the secret handshake, or the desire to venture beyond my sin-nature.  So, I didn't.

I'm not sure when that all changed...I suspect that whole motherhood thing killed off my inner awesome liar.  I had lied to myself for years about who I was and what I enjoyed in order to fit into some image of me created by my peers.  Take away the peers and the need to fit in disappears.  Sadly, I had become so good at pretending that I had no idea what it was I felt, wanted, or even believed.  Happily, I was free from the bondage of the facade I had created and had all the time in the world to figure out who I wanted to be.  I began to yearn for my authentic self and that brought with it a whole new struggle.

Convinced that offering 100% of myself in every situation was the only way to "keep it real",  I often gave away too much of myself, too quickly, and with too little wisdom.  If I was your friend, I was your best friend.  No questions asked.  Often this naive approach to authenticity led to my assumption that everyone wore heart-covered sleeves like mine.  Naturally, that misguided and unearned trust was blind to warning signs that eventually brought more pain to my life than I ever imagined I could endure.  It also brought about such a need for God that I could no longer ignore His love for me.  His faithfulness became all I could see.

Heartache brought me to a screeching halt.
Brokenness brought me to my knees.
God brought me through it all.

He revealed who I am by showing me who He is and inviting me to join Him as the majority in all of life's battles.  He moved me past every painful moment by showing me what awaits in eternity.

I often lose sight of the eternal, but on the good days, I find my joy in remembering that my value stems from being a daughter to The King. For us sisters in Christ, that means we give ourselves over to His purpose and we shine in that Mona Lisa sort of way.  The mystery of our peace and strength and joy will prompt further inspection.  Upon that closer look at what makes us smile, we want God's grace and power and faithfulness to be what is found.

I've got to be honest...anything worth knowing about me isn't about me at all.  Thankfully, my self is dying more every day that I let it.  I bet you're striving to do the same and failing at times, too, just like me.  "But we are not among those who shrink back and so are lost, but among those who have faith and so are saved" (Hebrews 10:39, NRSV).  Take heart, sisters, with God, we are the majority in this fight!
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The Only Thing That Counts 10/29/2009
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We are called to shine.
Have I said that before? Maybe once or twice...or thrice.
It's true, we are indeed called to shine.
There are so many wonderful ways that we can share the light of Christ,
but the most effective of these is to imitate Him.

Ephesians 5:1-2 tells us to, "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

"Live a life of love."

What does love like God's look like? Take a look at that passage again and you'll see. Take a look at Christ's life and you'll know. Christ loved us and that love for us was expressed in the form of sacrifice. Christ made the ultimate sacrifice, handing over His life for ours.
We are called to do the same.
We are to give up our lives in exchange for the life He would have us live.

We are called to live a life of love, sacrificing self in order that the Son might shine through us.

Paul said, "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." (Galatians 5:6)

The
only thing that counts. There is no other form of faith in God, only the one that produces a life lived in love. In love with Christ, in love toward others, in love of God's right and perfect law.

Live a life of love. What a worthwhile goal to reach toward each day.

Let's share some time with Christ today, making Him our focus and our aim. We must set our sights on God and sacrifice ourselves by loving one another, through hardships and hoorahs!

I am so grateful to have each of you ladies sharing in this wondrous journey home!  Take heart and give God all the glory...it was His all along.
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