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Crimson Letters 02/16/2010
5 Comment(s)
 
Picture


The binding, cracked and faded, finds its place upon her knee.
Her hand rests gently atop the open pages of her Beloved's Word; pages wearing thin. 
 Crimson letters promise better times, hope wrapped in parables and in rhyme.
Softly pressed into the sky, her right hand praises the One Most High.
Her heavy heart is healing more with every Truth revealed.
More hurt will surely come, and she will praise Him still.
 
Silently Unfurled 02/15/2010
1 Comment(s)
 
  Sometimes I disappear.

          Enveloped by the unknown.

      Hidden from sight and mind;

               impossible to find.

Swallowed by my solitude.

     Deep inside myself.

   Tucked away from the world;

                  silently unfurled.
 
Way Back When{sday} :: But the Waves 01/20/2010
2 Comment(s)
 
Picture
What have I left

But the waves

of doubt

of guilt

of remorse

How fitting now

Since you left

so coldly

so unmistakably

so readily

I'm alone again

Without you

without a will

without a friend

But the waves

the waves call to me

the waves reach for me

the waves cover me

and carry me home
I wrote that four years ago.

Most days, the pain is mercifully kept at bay. 

We have such a loving Father, to heal us that way.
Sexual, emotional, physical, mental, verbal--abuse tears at the spirit.
Broken to bits over the years and miraculously put together again.
Once, I found peace in the fact that I wouldn't live forever.
Now my peace lies in the eternal life given me in Christ.

Way back when my heart was breaking, it wasn't my life I considered taking.
God had a plan for me, way back when the world began, that He's fulfilling.
God has a plan for you, and He can fill you, too!

Don't take my word for it; take His!

"In Christ we have also obtained an inheritance, having been destined according to the purpose of him who accomplishes all things according to his counsel and will, so that we, who were the first to set our hope on Christ, might live for the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you had heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and had believed in him, were marked with the seal of the promised Holy Spirit; this is the pledge of our inheritance toward redemption as God's own people, to the praise of his glory"
(Ephesians 1:11-14 NRSV).

 
Before and After {poetry style} 12/11/2009
8 Comment(s)
 
I wrote my first poem twenty years ago.  Sure, I had scribbled out a rhyme in class or painstakingly worked on a Haiku or two for homework.  Pouring my emotions into words that didn't have to make sense to anyone else, this was new.  I was eleven and awkward and goofy and unsure of myself like any fifth grade girl with older sisters that ooze beauty and cool.  I wasn't sure of myself, but I had the assurance of God and His love for me.  Actually, this was the last year of innocence and obedience before my rebellious decade covered and distorted my connection with the Lord.  NEVER SEVERED.  Hallelujah!  We have a faithful Father, SonShine, He never leaves us--He never left me.  Still, I couldn't find Him, feel Him, hear Him as I had.  After ten years of ignoring and dabbling and drenching in sin, I had lost sight of Hope.  Hope wasn't lost, I was.  God sought me out, pulled me out, and will keep lifting me out of my own worldliness and He wants to do the same for you--or He already has and still is!  Praise God!  He loves us, ladies!  LOVES US! 

I had forgotten that.  Maybe not on a cerebral level, but spiritual amnesia is the worst kind.  Having no clue what God's love feels like when you know you've felt it before can be the loneliest place sometimes.  Thank God it's just a stop on the road...even if you begin to fear you've taken up permanent residence in Loneliesburg, the Holy Spirit can relocate you before you've had time to pack up all your extra baggage!

It was Christmas time and I was hurting.  The world had killed a part of me that year and all I wanted was the goodness of God.  I needed counseling.  I needed a mother.  I needed a dad.  I needed my Father...that I had and I held tight to Him. 
The enemy loves the world's way of devaluing our gift in Jesus by placing higher and higher value on the gifts under the tree.  That first poem vented my frustration over the commercialism of Christmas.  Profound?  Not a bit, but the feeling of release had a profound affect on me and I've been writing poetry since. 

Since the Lord began using my writing for His purpose, the poetry has been blocked for the most part.  It's been really hard not having that release, but God is trying to teach me to rely on Him for such things.  He is therapy and counsel and release.  With all this in mind, I wanted to share a poetry before and after to demonstrate His changing power! 

Sonshines, our God is waiting around to be gracious to us...even when we can't find Him.  He knows where we're at and He knows His plans for us!  Keep after Christ and He will allow you to see Him, He promises.  That means everything in this wayward world!


The Before...
Devolution

 
Splintered


     Wintered

Blistered and burned

Rendered

      Hindered

Cindered and churned

A mere concoction of

All that’s been learned

 

Splattered

      Scattered

Battered and worn

Shattered


     Haggard

Tattered and torn

The sum of all that’s

Happened since being born

The After...
Hope Floats


Pounding in my chest

expectation

anticipation

inside

and all around

Hope

floats

Hope abounds

surrounds

drowns

all my doubts

gone

Just knowing

I'm going

to move on
Picture
 
In Justice 11/15/2009
1 Comment(s)
 
imagine
a life spent
knowing your time
all the while

seeing your fate
and loving still

all the while
knowing
the time
for betrayal
close at heart
and at hand

envision
a sinless man
rejected
mocked
denied
killed

no retaliation
no justice

--yet

believe
His Word
will be the last

 
Try to see things differently 11/05/2009
1 Comment(s)
 
She slips off her coat, swinging it into place,  
resting on a wall mounted hook, it waits.
It awaits the next chance to protect her,
to bathe her in warmth during harsh weather.
Whoever said chivalry is dead had no imagination,
and certainly no greater sense of appreciation.
Even an inanimate object gives something of itself,
whether it's sitting pretty for all to see or taken from its shelf.

Yet man stands out like a sore thumb among this world of giving trees,
branches outstretched to provide shade,
ready to die for our shelter if need be.
Here we are in all of our selfish glory,
smiling dumbly as if we're the whole story.
The be all, end all, and everything in between,
no matter the sad truth that might bring.

Alone and grasping at straws of hope, of love, of meaningless passion.
Objects holding nothing more than reflections of the latest fashion.

If only we'd take the time to look further into that mirror.
Looking past ourselves could make our perspective so much clearer.
We'd see the beauty in man as we were created
and perhaps things such as chivalry wouldn't appear to be outdated.
Each thing that touches our lives has a valuable lesson to teach
even if it takes a stretch of the imagination to reach.
 
Home in Autumn 09/28/2009
2 Comment(s)
 
Home in Autumn
like no time else
warms the soul
Anticipation grows
as does the chill in the air
Longing for the change
surpasses the beauty
but not the feel
of the breeze
dead leaves falling
from amid the trees
 
Caffeinated Randomness: Poetry Style 08/21/2009
6 Comment(s)
 

It doesn't get much more random than digging through the very fragments of one's mind.  Therapy and bits, are the words of every poem under the sun.  Transformation from a Living God has changed my writing from images of heartache to those of inheritance.  I still get that hour-on-a-couch feeling, but now each bit rests in the comforting shade that is only found under the Son.

I thought I'd share a glimpse into the fractured psyche that our amazing and merciful Savior is continually delivering me through.  I didn't escape without a scratch; He's still pulling me through the wreckage that a lifetime has built.  Sometimes God delivers us from the evil and other times He brings us through the flames of Hell itself.

He will deliver if we allow Him the chance.
Someone needs to know that.

Here's just one tiny example of how the Lord radically changes the very way His children view this thing called life.

In brokenness, I wrote...

This Thing Called Life

Turning leaves like pages in some strange book
some sad and faded overrated tale from which we can't peel our eyes
A train wreck really
this thing called life
Oh we all want to turn our heads but we just flip the leaves instead


God says this of such brokenness...

"
My servants will sing
       out of the joy of their hearts,
       but you will cry out
       from anguish of heart
       and wail in brokenness of spirit."

Isaiah 65:14


Invest in your relationship with the Lord and know that
you can take Him at His Word. 
Our Father is in the business
of turning broken spirits into hearts of joy...and business is booming! 

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Caffeinated Randomness...poetry style 07/24/2009
7 Comment(s)
 

Heavy and Breaking

"It's a new day," she says as she draws the shades.
Light streaming through the cracks,
having barely pulled them shut,
she pauses for a slight moment before turning to face him.

Her eyes, overflowing with sorrow,
warn of what's to come.
"We can't keep going on like this."
Her words, identical to those repeating in his head,
yet he fights them all the same.

"Surely we can find our way past it all,"
he pleads, half knowing that this is too much to ask of her.
He'd already left her with so much to handle,
more than any person should have to endure.

He's let her down in such monumental ways,
lifting her out of the mess he made is a daunting task of its own.
Still he could never try to escape the harsh reality,
this was his burden to carry.

"This drum beats out of time,” she says,
lips red as berries dripping from the vine,
eyes like Elvis' shoes.

Hands combing his black hair
as he pretends to listen.
All dressed up like oxycontin.
No attempt to veil his blank stare,
not that she could be sold.

He whispers her name as she goes for the door,
not wanting to leave but unable to stay;
soft white hand outstretched before her.

Again, he whispers her name,
the longing in his voice thick
as honey,
sweet and warm.
Her glance never grazing him
as she looks to the floor.

Both searching for the right words.
Hearts racing,
heavy and breaking.

 
One (6/23/09) 06/25/2009
0 Comment(s)
 

Today I will be one.
One with the Spirit,
with the one I love.
One of the many
rising above;
the weight of the world,
crushing the crowd.
I'll be one
of the rescued
when it all falls down.

Today I will be one.
One child among many
saved by grace alone.
One chosen by Jesus
to live forever more
with my sweet Savior,
the Almighty King.
I'll be one
of His children
above everything.

Today I'll be one.
One example of His love;
eternal and strong.
One shining star
in the darkness
this fallen world can cast.
One among the many
simply reflecting His light;
because one can't shine alone,
try as they might.

 
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