Before and After {poetry style} 12/11/2009
I wrote my first poem twenty years ago. Sure, I had scribbled out a rhyme in class or painstakingly worked on a Haiku or two for homework. Pouring my emotions into words that didn't have to make sense to anyone else, this was new. I was eleven and awkward and goofy and unsure of myself like any fifth grade girl with older sisters that ooze beauty and cool. I wasn't sure of myself, but I had the assurance of God and His love for me. Actually, this was the last year of innocence and obedience before my rebellious decade covered and distorted my connection with the Lord. NEVER SEVERED. Hallelujah! We have a faithful Father, SonShine, He never leaves us--He never left me. Still, I couldn't find Him, feel Him, hear Him as I had. After ten years of ignoring and dabbling and drenching in sin, I had lost sight of Hope. Hope wasn't lost, I was. God sought me out, pulled me out, and will keep lifting me out of my own worldliness and He wants to do the same for you--or He already has and still is! Praise God! He loves us, ladies! LOVES US! I had forgotten that. Maybe not on a cerebral level, but spiritual amnesia is the worst kind. Having no clue what God's love feels like when you know you've felt it before can be the loneliest place sometimes. Thank God it's just a stop on the road...even if you begin to fear you've taken up permanent residence in Loneliesburg, the Holy Spirit can relocate you before you've had time to pack up all your extra baggage! It was Christmas time and I was hurting. The world had killed a part of me that year and all I wanted was the goodness of God. I needed counseling. I needed a mother. I needed a dad. I needed my Father...that I had and I held tight to Him. The enemy loves the world's way of devaluing our gift in Jesus by placing higher and higher value on the gifts under the tree. That first poem vented my frustration over the commercialism of Christmas. Profound? Not a bit, but the feeling of release had a profound affect on me and I've been writing poetry since. Since the Lord began using my writing for His purpose, the poetry has been blocked for the most part. It's been really hard not having that release, but God is trying to teach me to rely on Him for such things. He is therapy and counsel and release. With all this in mind, I wanted to share a poetry before and after to demonstrate His changing power! Sonshines, our God is waiting around to be gracious to us...even when we can't find Him. He knows where we're at and He knows His plans for us! Keep after Christ and He will allow you to see Him, He promises. That means everything in this wayward world! The Before... Devolution Splintered Wintered Blistered and burned Rendered Hindered Cindered and churned A mere concoction of All that’s been learned Splattered Scattered Battered and worn Shattered Haggard Tattered and torn The sum of all that’s Happened since being born The After... Hope Floats Pounding in my chest expectation anticipation inside and all around Hope floats Hope abounds surrounds drowns all my doubts gone Just knowing I'm going to move on  CommentsFri, 11 Dec 2009 2:25:35 pm What a wonderful testimony and poems. Both poems are beautifully written but let me live out the second one!!! Fri, 11 Dec 2009 4:42:13 pm tears... Sat, 12 Dec 2009 8:07:50 pm I will say it before and I am saying it again...You have such a beautiful gift for Poetry. I think it is such a special gift and I am so glad you share it with us. What a beautiful testimony of before and after. Mon, 14 Dec 2009 1:59:41 am What a wonderful post! I'm stopping by from Faith Imagined. :) I remember my rebellious, separated, phase. It was not fun. But you are right, the Holy Spirit has a way of getting to us and bringing us back on track. I hope that I never stray that far away again, because the relationship with the Father that I have right now is just too good. Even through doubts, struggles, highs and lows, He is with me, and I can do all things through Him. Mon, 14 Dec 2009 8:23:09 am I'm glad you came, Crystal! His love is overwhelming and knowing it is there waiting, even in the moments I can't feel it is helping, but nothing beats feeling it! =] Mon, 14 Dec 2009 9:10:47 am Oh! I love your poetry!!! I especially love your first poem because that describes my first year in high school, especially the "rendered." Mon, 14 Dec 2009 11:24:12 am High school was the opposite for me...it was hard because I finally started finding out who it was I had been hiding from the world in effort to "fit in". Praising God with you for being set free of that silly notion! Leave a Reply |  
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